Words that amuse me.
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"If we outlaw time machines, only outlaws will have attack dinosaurs." - Not Invented Here
"'Mom, I'm hungry.' 'Hush, I'm coding. You ate yesterday.'" - xkcd
"My personal opinion is that while qmail is actually good software, life is too short to have to deal with Dan Bernstein's exentricities" - Marc Merlin's MTA roundup, 2002
"Debugging is at least twice as hard as writing the program in the first place. So if your code is as clever as you can possibly make it, then by definition you're not smart enough to debug it." - Brian Kernighan
"When cryptography is outlawed, bayl bhgynjf jvyy unir cevinpl."
"As always, we do not recommend the use of beta software on mission critical or production systems. In fact, we may laugh at those who try." - official redhat beta release phoebe announcement, December 2002
"Everytime I reboot I get a different fucking error." - Joel
"Keep rebooting, maybe you'll run out." - Kevin
"Making Snow Crash into a reality feels like a sort of moral imperative to a lot of programmers...." - Carmack, in a slashdot interview posted 10/15/99
"Those who do not understand UNIX are condemned to reinvent it, poorly." - Henry Spencer
"My name is Linus, and I am your God" - Linus Torvalds, Linux Expo, Durham NC, 1998
"When in doubt, use brute force." - Ken Thompson (author of unix)
"...to fully secure a system, you really have to grind it into dust, scatter the pieces to the wind, and hope that Entropy does [its] part. Since you can't do this, you make tradeoffs." -Jay Beale
<mazeone:#e> man, my wife RULES
<Chutt:#e> mazeone, lemme guess, she's under your desk right now?
<UnLogikal:#e> mazeone: she give you head while you hax0r?
<UnLogikal:#e> lol
<mazeone:#e> no, better
<mazeone:#e> she made me dinner and broght it down to me
Richard M. Stallman, Linus Torvalds, and Donald E. Knuth engage in a discussion on whose impact on the computerized world was the greatest.

Stallman: "God told me I have programmed the best editor in the world!"

Torvalds: "Well, God told *me* that I have programmed the best operating system in the world!"

Knuth: "Wait, wait - I never said that."
"it's a good example of why bill gates should be shot, hung, shot again, then dragged through town by his scrotum" - nick@netaxs.com
"What did people like you do before computers?" - helcat@sff.net
"Science is like sex: Sometimes something useful comes out, but that is not the reason we are doing it." - Richard Feynman
"...I want to apologize in advance if I come across as overly inflammatory or antagonistic, as I've just been reading Slashdot." - Bill Jonas
"We are talking about particles in the universe type numbers here." -Anonymous Coward, on the subject of solving chess, on Slashdot.
"funky divas attempt to round up certain small childrens' toys smattered up with tiny rainmaker compact discs sent up as sputnik was summarily destroyed by the fact that ducks are quite cool" -MegaHAL
"Code changes are submitted to or accepted by the Debian [Linux] project once every 13 seconds to 7 minutes (depending on time of day). In other words, in the time it takes to dial a 1-800 number, someone may have fixed a bug in or added a feature to Debian, sometimes before the first ring, and definitely before you finally get off the holding queue and talk to a real human being." - Linux Weekly News
"Trying to learn to hack on a DOS or Windows machine or under MacOS is like trying to learn to dance while wearing a body cast." -ESR
"There are two major products that come out of Berkeley: LSD and UNIX. We don't believe this to be a coincidence." - Jeremy S. Anderson
The Conscience of a Hacker, by The Mentor
our yellow sun yields to the dark
as i begin my web-based lark
flowing, turning, through the pipe
i grep for text and dump the hype...

but as i ride the fibre trail
i test my faith as i read my mail
even as my bandwidth fattens
i question life and 1-click patents...

although i ask and though i query
i know the truth, i grok the theory
life is a multimedia of sins
so he who collects the most porn wins.
- User Friendly
"Abort, Retry, Influence with a Large Hammer"
First, the church was powerful. But it became corrupt and was overthrown.
Then monarchs became powerful. But they became corrupt and were overthrown.
Now businesses are powerful. So what do we do with Bill Gates?

"SCSI is *NOT* magic. There are *fundamental technical reasons* why it is necessary to sacrifice a young goat to your SCSI chain now and then."
"On the subject of the inevitability of Microsoft and Windows '95, I think Sandra Bullock summed it up best with, 'Now all resturants are Taco Bell'"
"Win95: It isn't an operating system, it's a 'square peg in a round hole' test."
"Beware of Programmers who carry screwdrivers."
- Leonard Brandwein
"God made machine language; all the rest is the work of man."
"I think there is a world market for maybe five computers."

- Thomas Watson, chairman of IBM, 1943
"Imagine that Cray computer decides to make a personal computer. It has a 150 MHz processor, 200 megabytes of RAM, 1500 megabytes of disk storage, a screen resolution of 4096 x 4096 pixels, relies entirely on voice recognition for input, fits in your shirt pocket and costs $300. What's the first question that the computer community asks?

'Is it PC compatible?'"
"To iterate is human, to recurse, divine." (the paper)

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