The Dess rant has been deemed necessary.

Mon May 14 20:03:49 EDT 2001

Okay, so I said I'd spare you. But this is just too messed up and I need to get it out. And who's playground is this, anyway ? If you don't like it, you're free to take your ball and go home.

This is going to be as accurate as I can remember it, although I am sure my memory is at least a little flawed.

I met Dess's sister through a friend of mine. She seemed to find me rather entertaining, and decided it was necessary to introduce me to Dess, who was single at the time. Dess was single then because she had just broken up with Steve because she found him worthless. I've been told (by Dess) that Steve pays no attention to her, and has a son who's life he does not participate in without being forced. Dess told me that she considered the years she had spent with him a waste.

For some reason, Dess got back together with Steve just before Dess and I were finally introduced. The next day I was informed that after meeting me, Dess regretted having gotten back together with Steve. She was interested in me. I was interested in her.

I then learned that Dess and Steve live with a couple roommates, one of which runs the household. This roommate is the mother of Steve's child (who's life he doesn't participate in). They have lived like this for several years. At this point you may realize that I completely deserved whatever suffering I may have endured as a result of getting involved in this mess.

But it gets better.

This roommate does not have a job, and lives off of Dess. I think she is also going to college. And is a bit of a drug addict.

Meanwhile all of Dess's paychecks from multiple jobs get deposited directly into an account which the roommate pays bills from, and Dess pays no attention to. And Dess scrounges for change to eat.

Not real long after Dess and I were introduced, there was a wedding that she, I, her sister, and my friend all attended (2/17/01?). That night Dess and I spent cuddled up on her sister/my friend's sofa. The next day it was apparent that something needed to be done about Steve.

Dess broke up with Steve. Steve proceeded to do stuff he hadn't been doing at all, like participating in the household (cleaning), taking Dess to the zoo, etc. It didn't sink in to him that the breakup was final.

The night that Dess finally got around to making it clear to Steve that the breakup was final, he was admitted, at his request, to a mental institution.

When he got out, Steve was regularly seen attached to another of their roommates, which Dess had been suspicious of having an interest in him.

Then Dess and I had our fun for a bit. Our schedules clashed rather horribly. I work basically 2nd shift, Monday-Friday, she works about 3rd shift, 5 random days of the week. The time we spent together I greatly enjoyed. It was, unfortunately, very little time. One day Dess and her sister cleaned my house while I was at work, which I still greatly appreciate.

Me, Dess, the roommate, and her boyfriend sat down and had a rather nice and somewhat lengthy conversation, mostly about me. I felt kind of like I was being interviewed, but didn't mind. I can understand a caring friend wanting to know more about this new guy her friend was with. During the conversation, the roommate commented, somewhat proudly, that she had quite successfully arranged her household to suit her.

Dess went away with the roommate on a camping trip for a weekend. This resulted in our not getting to see each other for a whole two weeks. I was really looking forward to picking her up and spending some time with her. Unfortunately, it turned out her plans were a little different than I had been lead to believe. Instead of coming home with me, she broke up with me (4/14/01).

Her reasons were that she agreed with me that she really needed to spend some time single (which she's never really done) - but on top of that she thought now was a good time, and that she was frustrated with how little she got to see me. Didn't make much sense to me.

Several days ago (5/9/01?) I heard that Steve asked Dess to marry him, and she said yes.

Everything you have read up to this point is, to the best of my knowledge, fact.

Here's what I think happened:

The roommate, of course, wants to keep Dess around so Dess can continue to pay her bills. The roommate is also intelligent enough to realize that I would probably find their arrangement unfair, and express my concerns to Dess. This makes me an inconvenience to the roommate.

Steve, on the other hand, is quite convenient. Since Dess is such a nice and caring person, as long as she is attached to Steve, she would never leave, because that would mean taking Steve away from his son (who's mother is the roommate). This means that as long as Dess is attached to Steve, the roommate gets to keep Dess.

That's pretty much it. I am not at all upset with the actions of Dess or Steve. I believe Steve acted as any man would - just wanting to get his woman back, even if he did not deserve her. Dess.. I think did what she thought was best. I do not know if she realizes why. I am concerned that Dess may not be paying much attention to what is good for her.

I think that if it suited the roommate, she would not hesitate to abandon Dess.

I think the whole situation is rather sad, twisted, demented.... wrong. Dess is such a nice person, being... very used.

If I happened to be at the wedding, and they did that "If any have a reason why these two should not be wed, speak now or forever hold your peace" thing, I would feel obligated to stand up and explain this mess to all present.

Let us hope that this is the last that you or I hear about Dess, and that she and Steve live happily ever after.


next:Long range rifle silliness at an indoor range.2001-05-27
previous:The bolt gun is completed !2001-05-13

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